Dante and his Morrigan
by Rosegal13
Summary: (05x07) After a stressful concert, Dante and Natasha go home for some take out, Chinese and snuggles. Pairing: Dante/Paul Davis X O.C Natasha Smith *****DISCLAIMER: LYRICS IN WRITING ARE NOT MINE****** Chinese translation: "Cheng! Start Smith's usual order! Hurry! Hurry!"
1. Chapter 1

I stand there in the front row of the concert, looking up at my Beloved, Dante. I make it to every show of his, always stand in the front, always in a small encirclement of roaring fangirls, who naturally give me a wide berth. I stand there dressed not as myself but as Dante's love, The Morrigan. We met a few months back during one of my jobs with the B.A.U in the F.B.I. We hit it of almost instantly. Since then I have made multiple trips back and after a month and a half of talking and dating, I finally moved in with him. Since then I have been at his side constantly. Tonight he was debuting his new album "The Liar" wich was made even more popular since his last manager and a fan murdered other fans for publicity. He looks down to me as he sings and a small smile eases across his face.

"When the routine bites hard  
And ambitions are low  
And the resentment rides high  
But emotions won't grow  
And we're changing our ways  
Taking different roads  
Then love, love will tear us apart again  
Love, love will tear us apart again "

He shifts his gaze back to his fans and performs. The rest of the event passes in a blur of songs, squeals and autographs. As he is signing his way through a wall of girls he looks to me and smiles with a hint of unease and irritation. I decide to make my way to him and divert some of the girl's attention to me. Ever since the last event at a Steampunk convention where he declared me as Dante's Morrigan the girls have adored me and knew to lay off when I was there with him. So putting on my best smile I start winding my way through the outer layer of fanboys to the inner circle of his usual group of girls. Thankfully after pushing past the first few boys they made sure that I would have a clear path.

"Lady Morrigan approaches, clear through!" immediately, the crowd in front of me stops in their tracks, turns and backs out of my way to Dante. I smile and nod my thanks to Samuel, a regular to all of the events and, according to him, "protector of Dante and his Lady Morrigan". I take the last few paces to Dante and lace my arm through his and look back to the wall of fans. Giving a slight bow of my head I address them, playing my role to a 'T'.

"Regrettably Darlings, I must steal him away from you earlier than usual tonight, lest we be late for our supper." Giving a small chuckle at the dejected tones that ensued, he allowed for a few pictures of Dante and Morrigan together before he signaled for his new manager and security to escort us out to out car. We step outside and wait for the car to be pulled around. He slips his arm from mine and wraps it around my shoulders. I lean my head against his chest and look up to the sky. as the car pulls up I notice that its started to snow lightly. Dante opens to door for me; once I climb in and settle down he closes the door and gets in on the other side. As the driver pulls away he lets out a sigh.

"I don't know how i ever managed without you, Pet." taking my hand in his he lays his head against the back of the seat and closes his eyes, "Mandy, take us home please. I want to get out of these clothes and just relax." he raises his other hand and starts talking again just as she turns around to talk, "Please, Mandy. I am utterly exhausted, anything that you want to discuss can wait until tomorrow alright? Especially if it has to do with another publication party or interview." he lowers his hand and gives mine a gentle squeeze. Mandy turns back around in her seat and remains silent the remainder of the ride to the house. We pull up to the front of the house and stop. Mandy turns around, looks at us and clears her throat.  
"Paul, you're home." I give him a small shake to wake him up. He rouses from his nap and starts to get out. I hurriedly follow, close my door and walk around the back of the car to Paul's side. he's leaning down to talk to Mandy before he sends her off,  
"Thank you, Mandy, we'll talk tomorrow over lunch. I'll call you with the place okay?" he waits for her to nod in agreement then finishes up, "Alright then, drive safe and please, keep a lookout." He pats the hood of her car and steps back so she can pull out of the long driveway. Once she's out of sight we turn to the house and dredge up to the front door. Leaning against the door frame Paul attempts to put in the passcode, after three tries he curses. "Bloody lock. Pet wha- can you help here please?" I give a small giggle and a peck on his cheek then enter the passcode. Once we're inside and the doors are shut and locked, I silence the alarm and reset it. I set down my bag and keys on the table by the door, then walk over to the couch and sit down next to Paul. I lean my head against his shoulder and let out a small sigh. After about a minute I sit up and pat his knee.  
"Come on Paul, let's get out of these clothes and go up for a shower." he gives a grunt and sits forward to start undoing his boots as I start on my corset. Once out of that I start on my own boots and within minutes we both are taking our stuff up to the bedroom. Once there, we both start removing the rest of our costumes as Dante and Morrigan. After tossing the clothes in the hamper, I walk to the bathroom and start the shower. Once its on and the proper temperature I grab a couple of makeup towelettes and hand one over to Paul, who had just walked into the room. Mumbling his thanks and giving me a kiss we both start removing our make-up. Tossing out our raggs, we get into the shower. As I start lathering up my hair he steps up from behind and holds me. He buries his face in the crook of my neck and groans. "Paul? You okay Darlin'?" I feel him nod slightly and squeeze slightly before stepping back, letting me wash up.  
"Yeah. I'm fine, Pet, just . . . exhausted" he grabs his soap and starts to wash off the grime and sweat from the show. We fall quiet after that and finish our shower. Once we're done we step out and wrap ourselves in towels to dry off before getting into our bathrobes. I let him flop down onto the bed while I go down to the kitchen. Before I leave the room I turn and ask him,  
"Paul? What do want to eat tonight?" leaning against the doorway so I can hear him, I wait for his reply.  
"The usual from Lee's? Chinese sounds divine right now."  
"Alright, Chinese it is." I make my way down to the kitchen flipping on exterior lights as I go. Once down to the kitchen I grab the phone and the Lee's Restaurant menu and start dialing the number. I put the call on speaker as I wait for the owner to pick up. It only takes a minute before an elderly man's voice picks up and speaks with a heavy accent.  
"Lee's Restaurant, how we serve you tonight?"  
"Ah, yes. The usual order for Natasha Smith please. And two extra fortune cookies please." I give my order and wait for the man to reply. sure enough I hear a muffled shout to his cook,  
"Chéng! Cóng shǐmìsī píngshí de dìngdān kāishǐ! Cōngmáng! Cōngmáng!" he turns back to the phone and continues wrapping up the order, "To same place yes? You want the Crab Ragoon tonight or maybe a bottle of Baijiu, just for you, special discount just for you, no?" I chuckle a little.  
"No, no crab rangoons tonight Lee, but I will take you up on that Baijiu offer, thank you." I finish up my order and hang up. Putting the phone an menu back where they belong, I go back up to the bedroom to lay down next to Paul, only to find him not in the bedroom. Frowning, I walk around the corner to see if he was in the bathroom, but he was not there either. then i hear his electric guitar coming from down the hall. I head down to his studio and see him sitting there in his silk pajama bottoms, strumming on his guitar to a song that he's been working on in his spare time. As I get closer i hear him start some lyrics

"Find a place where we escape  
Take you with me for a space  
The city bus sounds just like a fridge  
I walk the streets through seven bars  
I have to find just where you are  
The faces seem to blur  
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending  
Truth is I am done pretending

I, never thought that I  
Had anymore to give  
You're pushing me so far  
Here I am without you  
Drink, to all that we have lost  
Mistakes we have made  
Everything will change  
But, love remains the same"

By the end of the last set of lyrics he had taken notice of my presence. He looks up at me and gives me a small smile, as if he's embarrassed to have been caught singing such a sappy love song. I smile back at him and walk over to him, I drape my arms around his neck from behind and rest my chin lightly on his head as he continues strumming the chords to the song. Somewhere along the way he started humming the lyrics, or the tune of the lyrics, when the doorbell rings. Sighing he puts down his guitar as I let go and we both start heading down stairs to grab our food. Opening the door were greeted by the owner himself, as per usual for our late order.  
"Hello! $44.04, for one Orange Chicken Special, not too spicy, Kung Pao Beef, normal spicy, two Egg Rolls, one large Egg Drop Soup, two extra cookies and a bottle of special Baijiu." Mr. Lee smiles, as he hands me the order Paul readies the payment in cash. Counting out three 20's and a single five he smiles right back and hands the payment over.  
"Thank you . Keep the change alright, our usual tip for calling on your kitchen so late." As per the norm, Mr. Lee smiles even wider and bows repeatedly. We return his bow respectfully and wish him a good night. We lock the doors behind us and take our feast into the kitchen. While Paul grabs the drinks and cups, I set up our supper at the table and sit down. I wait for him to sit down before opening up my first fortune cookie and biting into the wafer to release the paper that is inside.  
"Hmmm. 'An unexpected relationship will become permanent.' Well that sounds promising." I chuckle as I fold the slip in half and set it aside. I seperate my chop sticks and begin to eat my chicken. I look over to Paul as he opens his with an amused look on his face. He sets his cookie to the side as he clears his throat to read his aloud,  
"'Depart not from the path which fate has assigned you.' It seems like fate has the same thing in mind for the both of us, Pet." Grinning he leans in and gives me a quick kiss before grabbing a glass to pour his drink into. He takes a sip then begins to eat his own food. A few bites in he notices the bottle of alcohol on the table. He finishes chewing his bite before he asks, "What is that?" pointing to the bottle with the ends of his chopsticks.  
"Baijiu, it's the Chinese version of Sake. Mr. Lee got in a bottle from Beijing and offered it to us." I get up and grab our two Ochokos from our set and the chilled Tokkuri from the fridge. Bringing them to the table, I unstopper the Baijiu and pour it into the Tokkuri. I set the bottle down, re-stopper it and take it to the fridge, on my way back I grab my tea cloth. at the table Paul is already waiting for me, picking up the Tokkuri I slowly pour him some of the liquid; then, setting it down, I wait for him to pour me mine. Once we both have our Ochokos filled, we raise it to each other and take a sip. We finish our glasses and go back to our meal. About half way through I bring up the song from earlier, "That was a lovely song earlier, are you thinking about publishing it?" I take a sip of my soda and wait for him to finish chewing. After swallowing and taking a drink he replies,  
"Not really sure. Its just something I've been messing around with lately. I don't know if the . . . public, would like the change." He takes the last of his meal in one bite and sets the empty carton to the side. I finish chewing my bite and start to scrape together the last of mine as I respond,  
"You know that they'll buy just about anything from you right?" He frowns at the table as he replies with dejection  
"No, not ME. They'll buy HIS music, Dante's. **I** am not **HIM**." Forgetting my food I get up and walk over to him. Kneeling down so that i am eye level, I cup his face in my hands and make him look me in the eyes.  
"Paul, listen to me, Dante is just a facade, what they love is **YOU** , Darlin'. **YOUR** voice. **YOUR** face. Everything they love is **YOU** all the way. Your fans aren't simpletons, they know that Dante is just a stage name, just like they know that Morrigan is just a stage name." I pull him closer for a kiss and stand up. Before I can move away he pulls me closer and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his forehead against my stomach. I cradle his head in one arm and rub his shoulder and back with my free hand. We stay like that for a few minutes until he finally sighs and releases me. I step back so he can stand, we clear our mess and stor our extra fortune cookies for the next show. Once everything is cleaned up, we turn out the lights and head upstairs to bed. After brushing our teeth and turning out the lights, we crawl under the silken sheets and snuggle up next to each other. Listening to his even breathing soon luls me into an easy sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

My dreams of white dresses and children with fair skin, dark curls and bright eyes were cut short by a gentle kiss on the forhead. Groaning I turn over and bury my face in the sheets.

"Ah, none of that, Pet. Come on, its time to get up." his voice is filled with amusement as he drags the sheets off my face and leans over me. Rolling back over, I look up at him through sleep heavy lids and smile. He smiles back and kisses my lips briefly before sitting back up on the edge of the bed. His left hand plays with a lock of my hair absently while his left holds my right. I stretch and give another grunt befor reluctantly crawling out of bed. He hands me a towel and washcloth then starts to head for the bedroom door. On his way out he calls back over his shoulder,

"I'll have coffee ready when youre done. We're having lunch with Mandy at The Polo Lounge today." with that he's down the hall heading towards the stairs. I quickly start the shower and freshen up. Within the fifteen minutes it takes to brew coffee, I was out of the shower and drying my self off. Wrapping my auburn hair up in the towel, I grab a fresh set of under garments and put them on. I walk over to the walk-in closet and pick out a sencible outfit for the day. I pick out one of my newer sets; a pair of leather skinny "jeans",and a thin, long sleeved tan shirt, paired with a brown and tan leather/faux fur half jacket, large glasses and a pair of designer heels. Having my outfit in order i return to the bathroom and finangle my long hair into a pony-tail, leaving out two whisps of hair at the front. I check my self in the mirror to see if make-up was a necessity. Deciding on just light eye make up , I finish up and head downstairs.

I follow my nose to the kitchen where Paul was leaning on the breakfast bar reading over his tablet. Next to him was his cup of iced coffee and in front of him was mine. i grin and walk over to the counter. He looks up as i pick up my beverage. I take a long sip and sigh with delight.

"Mmmmmm, extra caramel. Thank you Darlin'." I smile and lean over to give him a peck on the tip of his nose. He chuckles lightly but the humor doesn't reach his eyes. He goes back to his tablet and I see he is reading the news. "Whats going on in the states this morning that has you so worried?" I walk around to the other side of the bar to stand next to him with my hand on his back as i look down at the tablet. Before he replies i see what it is. At the top of the page reads 'Two More Women Found Dead in String of Murders.' My heart sank, I knew that if J.J. or Prentiss caught wind of this then she'd convince Hotchner to have the team look into it. That also meant me, as I was due back from my annual leave tomorrow. i must have let out an exasperated sigh cause Paul flipped off the screen and turned to me.

"What's the matter, Pet?" he looks at me with worry and concern. I try my best to shake the impeeding thoughts and smile at him. But i know that I failed because he gently pulls me into his arms and gives me a small squeeze before pulling me back just far enough to look at me. "We both knew that you would have to go back to another case. But I dont want you to think about it today. Today, I want you to have fun." He rubs my arms and smirks. I roll my eyes in mock distain and give a laugh.

"Then why are we meeting with Mindy?" he clicks his tongue and goes to grab his phone. As he's doing that, i flip the tablet back on and read through the article.

MONDAY JUNE 15, 2009

Nashville P.D. are still investigating the strings of murders that have been occuring in the Nashville-Davidson area. These murders started last month when the remains of a beloved athlete where discovered in the early hours by locals. The police still have no new leads in the matter and are seeking out additional assistance.

"Shit. That's not good." I power down the device and plug it into the wall to charge. Then I walk over to the door and take my phone out to see if I had missed any calls. Having missed none, I put it back and go back to Paul. "You know, you never said why we have to have lunch with Mandy." I drape my arms over his shoulders and look at him with the best pouty face i can manage. He laughs and puts his hand on my hips as he looks me in the eyes.

"Because I told her that I would listen to her pratteling over lunch today. And you know she wont let me change my mind last minute." Just then his phone rings and his eyes widen slightly as if to say 'Speak of the devil' and 'I told you so' in one look. Letting me go he reaches for his phone and picks it up,

"Yes Mandy?" hes silent for a few minutes before agreeing to something and replying, "That's fine. We'll meet you at The Polo Lounge in, oh, let's say, an hour?"

He grunts in agreement again a few mor times before saying good bye and hanging up. He slips his phone in his back pocket and gives me a deep kiss. I return the kiss before stepping back to help him clean up the kitchen a bit. Once the cups were washed and set out to dry and the remaining coffee was put into a carafe, we headed to the door to head out. I picked up my bag and phone before exiting the house. I wait for him on the porch while he sets the alarms and locks the door. As soon as he finished we both head to one of his cars and get in. He starts the engine, pulls out of the drive and starts towards the resteraunt. During the drive there I can't help but to think of the Nashville Murders and dreading the moment I get the call telling me to meet the team in Nashville. For the majority Paul and I are silent. We are almost to the lounge when he places his free hand on my knee, I jump a little at the sudden move and gasp. He gives my knee a gentle squeeze and glances at me briefly befor he stats talking.

"Pet? Are you okay? You've been worrying your lip the entire way here." his voice sounded the concern that was reflected in his eyes. I instantly felt bad for making him worry. Taking a deep breath, I stroke the back of his hand with my thumb and center my self around him. After a few I tell him why I was worried. I explain that I knew that the B.A.U were going to be hard pressed to catch this UNSUB and to put a cap on the Media. That I knew that they were going to call me back a day early because of that article in the news. But above all else, I explained that I wasnt ready to have to deal with a pontentially Psychotic, border line Dissociative Personality Disorder afflicted male who took the pleasure of killing women brutally. By the time I had finished, I was breathless and on the verge of tears. Paul pulls into a parking space near the entrance of the resteraunt and kills the engine. Turning to face me he gently tilts my face up to look at him.

"Natasha Smith, you are the bravest, most resourceful, creative and beautiful woman I have ever met. You'll be just fine Love." he plants a small kiss on my cheek and wipes the few tears that had escaped the corners of my eyes. He then turns around and gets out of the car, I use the time he takes walking around to my side to touch up my makeup and put on my large sunglasses. He opens up my door and holds out his hand. Taking it I step out with my bag and step forward so he can close the door. Turning around, he takes my hand and we walk up to the Hostes of the lounge. After giving her his name and informing her that well be waiting for one more, she leads us to a table out on the garden patio. Taking our seats, we request our drinks and wait for Mandy to show up. While we wait we discuss the upcoming Con in San Diego. we were about to start debating what outfits to take and what songs he would perform there when a shout stops us.

"Paul! Natasha!" looking up we see Mandy waltzing her way to our table. She stops briefly to tell the hostes that shes with our 'party'. Being let through she struts to the table and takes the open seat accross from Paul and I. She beams as our waiter comes by with her drink and asks to take our order. After we place our requests the waiter leaves and Mandy turns back to us.

"Okay so down to business. Paul, these next few weeks are going to be busy for you and Tasha both. We have three big time Mags wanting to do an artical on Dante and Moriggan's relationship. We have another two that are interested in this new "Mystery Woman" in Paul's life. Then not to mention the San Diego Comicon next week. Have you decided on the songs youre going to be performing?" she pauses, takes a drink of her Arnold-Palmer and pulls out her planer. Poising her pen to strat jotting down details she looks back to Paul waiting for him to respond.

"Okay, Mandy, first things first. Which Mags want the Dante/Morrigan interviews?" he looks at her and takes a sip of his water.

"Okay, those three are 'People', 'Entertainment Weekly' and 'The Hollywood Reporter'. They want to know when a good time would be for the interviews." She pauses as the waiter comes by with our food. She briefly moves her planer to the side so he can set her plate down. Paul and I move our hands so we can recieve ours. Once the waiter is finished and gone Paul continues the conversation.

"Alright, 'People Magazine' and 'The Hollywood Reporter' can stop by the house later this week for their interview. They are the only two who are getting the relationship scoop. As for 'Entertainment Weekly', they can have an interview on Wednesday for my show at the Con. Ticket sales are not as high as I'd like them to be but perhaps this interview will boost them." He waits for her to finish jotting down dates and times in her planer and making notes about wich Mag gets which interview. Putting down her pen she takes a bite of her sandwich and chews thoughtfully. As she chews Paul and I start on our food, he starts cuting up his steak as I drizzle my salad with ceasar dressing. She finishes and lookes to Paul,

"Okay, that sounds like a plan, I don't think that they'll be too dissapointed. If they want to insist on the relationship scoop then they wont get one at all. Now, about the two Mags that want to interview our lovely "Mystery Woman". Both 'U.S Weekly' and 'In Touch' want to interview you and perhaps get some pictures with the two of you together." I continue eating my salad as Paul sips his water and discusses the interviews. After a few minutes of back and forth he turns to me and asks,

"Pet? what do you thnk? Would you be comfortable with doing a few interviews?" i look at Mandy then him. I ponder my choices as i finish chewing my bite and take a drink of my tea. Just as I am about to give my answer my phone starts ringing and vibrating in my bag. I sigh as i reach down and pull it out. The caller ID on my screen reads Aaron Hotchner and i inwardly groan. I turn back to Paul and Mandy,

"I'm sorry I have to take this." Excusing my self, I get up from the table and walk to the car before answering my phone. "Tasha. What is it Hotch?" I let my mild irritation show through my voice as I address my unit chief.

"Natasha, I know that your A.L isn't over untill tomorrow, but I- we-" he sighs and pauses before he continues. "The team needs you in Nashville. We have a case, a bad one."

"Yeah, I was reading the article on the internet. J.J's going to be hard pressed to put a cap on this one." I pause, take a deep breath and look over to the table. "Listen Hotch, I cant make it out there just yet. I have some stuff here to wrap up first." There was a pause and i could practically feel his eyes harden at my responce. I knew before he said it what he was going to say,

"Natasha, I want you on the next flight out of Hollywood. Is that clear? I need everyone here and doing their jobs, not galavanting after actors and singers." At the last bit i lost my temper. I clench my jaw and grind my teeth trying not to make a sceen in public. After a generous pause, I take a deep breath and sigh.

"I will be there around 6 P.M L.A time, tonight okay? Like I said, I have stuff to take care of here before I can leave. Oh and Hotch?" I finish my scentance with an edge in my voice.

"Yes?"

"If you EVER bring my personal life into our conversations again, I will go straight to Chief Strauss. We are not an item anymore, you dont have the right to do that." with that i hang up and take a deep breath to calm my self before heading back to the table. I approach the table and sit down. Paul wraps his arm around my shoulders and leans against the back of his chair. I lean back as well and let out a long sigh. I try to enjoy the rest of lunch but the phone call had put me on edge. Paul took notice of this and stops talking to his manager to turn his attention to me.

"Is everything alright pet?" Once again helooks worried as he talks to me.

"Yes and no. I have to leave for Nashville in less than an hour." I turn to Mandy and give an appologetic look, "I'm sorry Mandy but I wont bea able to do any of these interviews. That was my boss, the team has a serial murder loose in Nashville. I dont know how long its going to take for us to catch this guy." I turn back to Paul and give a small grin, full of regret. He just smiles back, leans forward and signals for the waiter.

"Thats fine, Pet. We understand." He turns to Mandy and talks to her as he sorts out the check that had just been brought to the table. "Mandy, I can still do 'Entertainment Weekly' and 'In Touch', we'll have to put the other two off untill she returns. As far as the nitty-gritty details of the Con, we'll have that conversation later this week. Right now i need to get Tasha home so she can get her bag ready." With that, we all get up and start heading for our cars. Paul unlocks the car and opens my door for me. I slide in and buckle my belt as he closes the door and gets into the driver seat. We drive away from the resteraunt and Mandy and head home. On the way I take my phone out and dial my favorite tech,

"Office of Unfettered Omniscience. Penelope Garcia is in. Speak, oh fortunate one."

"Hey, Garcia, it's Tasha. I need you to email me evryting you have on the Nashville case like last week. Hotch called me in a day early." i smile slightly and she replies,

"Sure thing my Knife-happy Muffin. BT-dubbs, welcome back." I giggle my thanks and hang up, then I dial one other number and wait for the person on the other end to pick up. By the time Paul and I reach the house and walk up to the fron door, I had to re-dial the number two times. On the third ring of the second re-dial the line picks up.

"Section Chief Erin Strauss speaking." her tone, as usual is clipped and cold, void of any emotion other than unyeilding authority.

"Chief Strauss, this is S.S.A Natasha Smith, I was calling in regards of transport from Hollywood to Nashville Ma'am. Agent Hotchner requested I join the team immediately." I keep my voice steady even though I am bustling about the house getting my stuff together. I rush up to the bedroom to change shoes as she replies.

"Yes, Aaron did say that he had requested you to cut your A.L a day short. I agree, this case needs to be dealt with as quickly and efficently as possible. I will make the call to have you on the next non-stop flight out, giving you priority boarding and you will be the first to disembark. Is that all Agent Smith?" something in her voice hinted that she knew something she shouldnt and was waiting for an excuse to write someone up. Not taking the bait I end the phone call,

"No, that will be all. Thank you Ma'am." I hang up and finish putting on my combat boots. Standing up, I take my heels to the closet to store them and grab my go bag with my credentials and gun. Slipping my creds in the inside pocket of the jacket and strapping my gun to my belt, I sling the bag over my shoulder and head back down stairs. Paul hadn't left the living room since we got home. I walk up to him and, dropping the bag, draw him into a big hug and nuzzle his neck. His arms tighten around my back and he hides his face in my hair. We stay like that for a few minutes before he breaks the embrace.

"Well, we had best get you to the air port, did Miss Strauss tell you wich gate you'll be going through?" I shake my head and bend down to grab my go bag and purse.

"No, she doesnt need to, there will be an Agent waiting at the drop off to escort me to the plane. Come on, I told Hotch that I would make it to the Nashville Prescint before 6 tonight, and its a four hour flight." we both hurry back out to the car, neither of us waste the formalities of car ediquete and just jump into the car. After we're buckled in, we rush to the trip lasted only about 30 minutes, once there we pull up to the front and hand the keys to a vallet. As they drive the car off to be parked, I search the crowd for the F.B.I Agent who will be escorting me to the plane. After a bit, I spot him standing just outside the doors of the air port. Tapping Paul's arm, I weave my way through the hustling people. Upon reaching the man I pull out my creds and identify my self.

"S.S.A Natasha Smith, B.A.U at Quantico. I need to be on the next flight to Nashville." slipping my creds back I follow the man through the airport. It takes us about five minutes to reach the gate. The agent stops and turns to face me.

"Mrs. Strauss has instructed that only you are to be boarding Agent."

"I am aware of this thank you." I turn back to Paul and pull him in for a quick kiss. I pull away and look at him, "Try and have some fun please Darlin'. I'll call when I've settled in for the night okay? Love you." I turn and start to head through the gate. But before I can get too far he takes my hand and turns me around.

"Please, stay safe Tasha, don't do anything reckless. No matter how pissed you get at this pig. Stay alive, for me, Pet. I love you, I'll await your call." With that he gives me one last kiss and lets me go. I hurry through the gate and go straight to security to present my self. By the time I'm cleared its already 1:45P.M. Before I board I look back one more time at Paul. We wave to each outher before I dissapear into the walk way. Once on the plane, I speak with the pilot and he directs me to my seat in first class. Before he leaves he asks if there is anything else that I needed. I politely decline and settle my self in the seat. Thankefully the seat I was given was at the back of first class and in a corner.

As soon as the plane was at altitude, I take out my laptop and pull down the built in tray. Signing in, I open my email and look over the case. I start with the victimology, so pulling out my notebook and pen I start making a chart. With-in minutes I found a common theme amongst all of the victims. I stop the flight attendant and ask for a soda and a bag of chips, she brings them by and smiles. I thank her and go back over my information, double checking my theory as I sip the soda. If I was right all of these women had something in common and it was unsettling. Deciding to run this by Reid befor I land, I pick up the plane phone and dial Spencer's number. After a few rings the line goes to voicemail. Sighing, I leave my message at the tone and hang up. I continue to run with my theory and see where its gets me. Yet even after an hour and half I cant find anything else they have in common. So, deciding to give it a rest, I close everything up and chose to get some sleep. My sleep however was not peacefull, they were filled with blood and pain and a woman with brown hair. I startle awake when the captian announces our arival at Nashville International Airport. Streightening my self, I make sure all of my stuff is gatered, ready to disembark. Once the seatbelt sign went out an attendant was at my side as I got up and made my way to the front. Not having time to thank the pilot personally, I get off and head to the security to check in.

After being cleared I head for the front of the airport and take out my phone to dial Morgan. With my bags slun over my shoulder and phone in hand, I step into a quiet corridor so that I might hear the other person. After a few rings he picks up.

"Morgan. whats up?"

"Hey, Derek, it's Tasha, I'm at the airport just past gate 4, are you here yet?" I ask him as I look around for the dark agent. With no luck I don't spot him and there was no responce from the other end of the phone. "Derek? Derek are you still there?"

"No, I'm here." his voice sounds from right behind me and I smack his arm after yelping. We both laugh as we hang up our phones.

"You ass! It's good to see you." I give him a quick hug before backing up. "Okay we dont have time to waste, I need to talk to the team. I think I might have found the UNSUB's end target and the connection between them but its still just a theory." Hearing this he nods and signals me to follow him. We get to the SUV with-in minutes, I toss my stuff in the back while Morgan gets in and then I hop in the passenger seat. Once im in and the door is shut we peal away from the building. Before we hit the first light, Morgan flips on the lights and sirens to make sure that we dont waste anymore pressious time. I open my phone and dial Hotch.

"Hotch. Yeah, I'm on my way now. Get the team together, I need to run a theory by all of you and see if it makes sence with your preliminary profile." I pause and wait for him to respond and tell me to hurry before I finish,

"Hotch, if I'm right then we are out of time."


	3. Chapter 3

The car ride from the airport consisted of me filling in Morgan about my theory to divert his attention away from my A.L.  
"Morgan, seriously. Let's just catch this prick then I'll fill you all in, okay?" I grunt after the twelfth time he brought up Hollywood. I lean my head against the headrest and close my eyes. I must have dozed off because the next thing I remember is Morgan nudging me awake. Getting out, I speed walk to the entrance of the Nashville P.D. and rush over to the rest of the team. I walk straight past Hotch and go straight to the board where they had the two most recent victim's autopsy photos and the previous victims' photos. Reaching into my back pocket, I take out a photo and place it on the board and step back to face the team. It is Reid who notices first.  
"Tasha,why did you put your photo up there?" I stand there for a few uncomfortable moments gathering up the necessary courage to say what needed to be said. Thankfully I didn't have to 'cause Hotch piped up and said it.

"Because she is the UNSUB's end goal. Tasha, how did you figure this out?" the team looks at me with a mixture of worry and shock as I replied,

"Because he has been stalking me for the better part of two or so years. This UNSUB has Dissociative Identity Disorder. I had met his weaker, less dominant personality when we were on that case in New Orleans. That side I called by his true name, Joseph Carter. He expressed his fascination with me through flowers and poetry left at where ever I was staying at the time. The other, more. . . aggressive side I took to nicknaming Clairfield; after my birth father. He was _supposed_ to be in Psychiatric Care for a very long time, especially after we had ordered a full eval of both sides. Clearly that didn't go through. So now Clairfield thinks that I betrayed him and our 'love'." I stop talking and take a deep breath to steady my nerves as I wait for the team to process what they had just been told. After a few moments that seemed to stretch on for what felt like ages, Prentiss spoke up.

"But how can we be sure that this is the same guy?" I go back to the board and, as I'm looking back over them, I reply.

"You see how their hair has been placed around their shoulders and over one side of their face? Then how, on the left side, its brushed back behind the ear?" They agree and Morgan says that it could just a sign of remorse. I shake my head and turn back to them.

"No. Its how he always had my hair styled when he held me for a week. He would always stroke the hair back over my left ear and trail his fingers down my cheek. He knew that he would be on the news and that the team would take it up, it's his calling card to me." The team is silent as they digest the information. It is Hotch who breaks the silence that had consumed us. Clearing his throat and walking to the board he addresses the team,

"Okay, we need to give the profile to the officers and the public. Morgan and Reid, you can handle the officers. J.J. I want you to handle press, get his picture out there and tell everyone to be on the lookout for him and to be carefull. Prentiss, you and I will set up a bait and hook. Tasha, are you okay with that?" He turns to me and waits for me to nod in agreeance before turning to Rossi. "Dave, we'll need you as secondary bait. Clairfield will take the presence of another man as a sign of the ultimate betrayal." At the same time, both Rossi and I disagree. We look at eachother but he lets me do the talking.  
"No, Hotch. Clairfield knows that Rossi is a Father figure to me." Rossi speaks up to back up my claim,  
"She's right. Hotch, I think it's be best if you were the one to be the second bait. He most likely already knows of your. . . history with each other." He stares down Hotch until he finally gives and sighs. Closing his eyes briefly he agrees to this and walks off to start planning with Emily. "I'm sorry Kiddo. I know that it was the last thing you wanted." I shake my head and smile. I give him a brief hug before starting towards the front doors.  
"It's okay, I know that it's the most logical path to the end. I just hope that Hotch keeps his head straight when were doing it. I should probably go get some rest. We will probably be setting up the bait tomorrow night." I wave by to the team and head to the car to grab my stuff. Slinging my bags over my shoulder, I signal to Reid who had just walked out of the station. I ask him which hotel we were at and tell him that I was going to go get some rest. With that I ask the Deputy to drop me off there. After checking in at the desk I head up to the only room that was available. Unfortunately for me that room was also the one that Hotch was staying in. Heaving a massive sigh, I close the door behind me and flop down onto one of the full sized beds and pass out.

Once again my dreams were filled with blood, pain and my face contorted in agony. I try to thrash against my assailant but my limbs are heavy and slow. I open my mouth to call for help but no sounds escape. Or so I thought. suddenly I'm being shook with a voice calling my name, telling me to wake up. And wake up I do with a strangled scream. At first all I see are shapes and lights. Then, slowly, those shapes take the form of a room, and the voice is given a face. It's Hotch kneeling on the edge of my bed, his hands on my shoulders, face etched with concern.  
"Natasha? Are you okay? You were screaming." His voice, so gentle, like it was when we were an 'item'. It comforted and irritated me at the same time. Not wanting to give him the wrong impression I shake him off and reply with clipped tones.  
"I'm fine. It was just a dream, nothing more. What time is it?" Clearly taken aback by my attitude, he gets up and walks to the table in the corner of the room. He pulls out his laptop and paperwork then sits down. Opening his screen he gives the time,  
"It's nearly 7 in the morning. The bait and hook will be starting around one this afternoon. We'll be going around town, sightseeing etcetera. We need Clairfield to tail us for quite some time to ensure you have his full attention. Then we'll go to a different hotel and wait for him to come to us. Get changed and head down to the station to help Reid and Rossi. We still need to gather physical evidence." sighing, I grab a change of clothes, change in the bathroom and head out. I walk down to the lobby and slump into a chair at the luxury diner's bar. Ordering a coffee and a blueberry crumble muffin, I take out my phone and text Paul.

 _Hey, sorry I_ _didn't_ _call last night. We went straight into_ _planning_ _and jet lag damn near killed me. Call me when you get the chance._

I put my phone down, start eating my muffin and take a sip of my coffee. I turn my attention to the locals sitting in the small diner and try to get a feel for their demeanor. Most of them were just tired, probably either just getting up or getting in. Others, mainly the females, were on edge, watching their surroundings. A few of them caught me staring and promptly looked away after noticing my gun. I was watching an exchange between an officer and a transient when my phone vibrates on the counter, startling me and the waitress both. Sighing an apology I answer it,  
"Tasha."

"Hey, Pet. It's good to hear your voice." Paul's voice makes me smile and relax slightly. His voice sounded scratchy and dry, like he had just woke up.

"I didn't wake you did I? I'm sorry." I apologize and wait for him to answer.

"No, no, Pet. It's alright. I was worried about you when you didn't call last night. Especially after Miss Jareau held that press conference. This guy, is he really that deluded?" The scratchiness in his voice broke a little as he tried to hide his distress. I deflate a little on the inside at hearing how sad he is and suddenly I wish I had him here with me.

"Yes, he is. Paul, this guy is the one I was telling you about. The one who had been stalking me?" Hearing this his voice hardens slightly.

"Isn't he supposed to be in a psych ward for a while yet?" I explain to him that he had gotten released and that shortly after he started the killings. I also explained that, because of his delusion, he felt as if I had betrayed him in the biggest way possible. Not wanting him to worry I also tell him of our plans to bait him later that night. By the end of it he was no less worried; but understanding that if we didn't go through with the plans that the killings would undoubtedly increase in quantity and decrease in time. We chat idly for a while before I notice Hotch making his way towards me in his usual vexed manner. Grunting, I cut my call short of what I wanted it to be,

"I'm sorry Darlin', I gotta go, Hotch looks like he's bout ready to lob my head off. I love you, I'll talk to you as soon as I'm able okay?" I hang up the phone as I stand and meet Hotch halfway. The look he gives me is one of sheer mal-content as I walk up to him. I don't get the chance to say anything before he jumps down my throat.  
"I told you to go to the station half an hour ago, Why are you still here? And the person on the phone had better have been either Reid or David because you are here to work the case, not talk to your celebrity infatuation." He finishes and waits for me to respond. With a clenched jaw I don't give him the satisfaction of my response and instead walk past him and toss over my shoulder,  
"I needed a ride, I was merely waiting for you. Being as you were already here. Now, let's get this show on the road, we have work to do." I don't wait for him to respond before continuing out to the parking lot. I wait for him next to one of the unmarked SUVs, trying my best to control my temper before I do something stupid, like shooting my federal boss. It doesn't take long for him to appear at the drivers side and tell me to get in. I comply and hold my tongue for the ride to the station. No sooner than we walk through the front doors were we met by the Sheriff and Deputy with panicked looks on their faces. Hotch walks off with them leaving me to head to the room where the team was set up. I enter the doorway and am greeted by Morgan and Emily with the information that Hotch no doubt was being given at the time. As Morgan sits down Reid and Rossi wave and mutter their hello's.  
"Hey Tasha. Clairfield has surfaced. He's kidnapped another victim and is demanding that you meet him for an exchange." Emily finishes and leans back onto the desk where she has perched. I frown and take a seat across from her. Leaning forward I bury my face in my palms and groan.  
"Great, so he's completely changed his M.O. The Clairfield that I locked up would have never contacted the P.D. let alone suggest a trade. He's getting desperate. What time did he say that he wanted the exchange to take place?" They both shake their heads. I take a deep breath and look up to the board. My eyes narrow as I notice something off. I walk over to the board and recount the number of victims that are on the board. Reid takes note of what I'm doing and pipes up,  
"He's wanting you to meet him alone with no surveillance. That's what Hotch is discussing with the Sheriff and Deputy. He also didn't divulge in the identity of his 'hostage'." Reid finishes and Rossi adds in.  
"This could very well be a trap. Hotch doesn't want to take that chance. Just incase Clairfield actually does have a hostage, he wants to be prepared." The anger I had been holding off from the morning threatened to explode. As a result, I slam my fist on the table and shout,  
"It's not his call! I decide if I do this or not! Not Aa-" I stop myself from saying his first name just in time. I steady my voice as I continue. "Not Hotch. Tell Hotch that we will be doing this and that I will call him from Hard Rock when Clairfield calls me with the time, okay?" I leave just as Hotch is entering the room, I slam my shoulder into his as I pass. Before I get to far from the team he calls out,  
"Natasha, where are you going?" I turn and walk backwards for a few pases as I say,  
"Out for a drink, I'm waiting for my not-so-secret-admirer to call me with the time of our date." Turning back around throw back over my shoulder, "He was lying about the hostage. He has no one to hold as leverage. I'm going anyways." With that I'm out the door and hopping into one of the SUV's. Starting the engine I pull out of the P.D parking lot and head down to the cafe where i told the team I was going to be at. There was no doubt that Clairfield would catch wind and send a disposable phone to me there. From now until then it was just the waiting game. My grip on the steering wheel tightened, turning my knuckles white as I remember Hotch's little escapade earlier that day and the day he called me in. I grind my teeth trying not to yell and rant in the car. Ever since I had called off our relations when his wife Haliey had become pregnant with his son Jack, he had become controlling and volatile. And it only got worse when I had stayed behind for two days in Hollywood after the case where I met Paul. Hotch believes that because I participated in his affair that he owned me. Paul knows about his attitude towards me but he doesn't know the reason why. If I was being honest with myself, I would admit that the reason I hadn't told him was because I was ashamed of it and myself. I pull up to the Cafe and put the vehicle into park. Getting out, I walk up to the front door and pull on the guitar shaped handle. Once in i request a window side booth and follow the waitress. She seats me and informs me that my waiter will be with me shortly. As i wait for my waiter I flip my phone absentmindedly in my hand, thinking about how this is going to end tonight.

In the middle of my meal the girl who had seated me walks up to my table with a package in her hands. She looks at me with confusion as she approaches.  
"Umm, are you Natasha?" I nod a confirmation while chewing. "Well, this guy came up to me and said to give this to you. He said that you would know what to do with it." With that she hands over the package and walks off. i don't waste any time in opening it. Inside was a note and, as I predicted, a disposable cell. I take both out and read the note

Hello my Sweet, you have a lot to answer for. We were supposed to be happy together. then you went and had me locked up. Leave your gun, credentials and cell at the table. Get up with the cell I gave you and leave. Do not get into the car and start walking South to the Science Center. Make sure to dispose of this and the box in the river. You have exactly half an hour to get to the center. i will call you then with further instructions, hury.

Doing as the note asks, i get up and leave everything but the package at the table. Puting the disposable in my back pocket i grab the box and leave, ignoring the waitress' calls to pay and grab my stuff. I fast walk to the river and toss the note and box in. Then i turn and ask a passer by which direction the Science Center was. After being pointed in the right direction i set off at a jog. i make it to the center breathless but with five minutes to spare. I walk up the steps and through the entrance. Once I'm inside the phone rings. I rush to pull it out and answer it.

"Good, you're early. Now go up to the gift shop and give the name Jessica Clemmons. Once you have that package, go outside, Smash this phone and toss it in the garbage. The keys go to a grey Nissan Altima plates read Rodger-Quick-Leroy 5-3-9. Get in, the coordinates are already set. Hurry." with that he hangs up and my clock starts ticking. I rush into the shop and walk up to the counter. I smile and lean forward to keep my voice from reaching too far.  
"Hi, I need to pick up a package for Jessica Clemmons?" The clerk nods and reaches under the counter to pull out the package, her eyes flicker to the camera that is at my back. I nod slightly, now knowing how he is keeping track of me. i lower my voice and talk to her,  
"Okay, as soon as I leave here, I need you to excuse yourself, go to the bathroom and make a call to the police station. Ask for Agent Aaron Hotchner, tell him that Agent smith needs back up and give him the plates to the car im in. RQL-539. okay, it's a grey Altima. can you do this? blink once fo no two for yes." The girl blinks twice and I hurry to leave. I do as Clairfield instructed and start heading to a remote part of the city. The ride goes smoothly for the first ten minutes, until I encounter a checkpoint just before the highway. The officer asks me to pull to the side and step out of the vehicle. I do as i'm asked and am promptly escorted to the side of a building. there, Hotch is pacing back and forth, clearly furious. The moment I walk up to him he sends the officer away. I take a quick note of the building walls, making sure that there were no cameras. Seeing none i relax a little. Hotch see's this and starts reaming into me.  
"What the hell were you thinking? You were supposed to call me the moment he contacted you. Why didn't you?" he stops pacing and looks at me, "Natasha!"  
"I was wrong, about the bait and hook with you. You clearly can't keep your head on catching Clairfield. You have no right to be like this with me Hotch! We are no longer on friendly terms. You are my boss, NOTHING more. you do not have the right or the authority to call me by my first name. not even Strauss does that. You need to quit being so possessive!" with each word that rolled off my tongue the more i lost control of my temper. but no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't reel myself in, i couldn't stop the flood gates from opening. With each sentence I take a step towards him and he takes one back.  
"You just can't stand to see me HAPPY for one Gods forsaken moment can you?!" My voice starts to shake and my eyes start to well up. he tries to inject himself,  
"Tash-" but i won't let him, he always has to be the one talking, always the one to be high and mighty. well not this time.  
"NO! You just SHUT UP and you LISTEN! the way you have been treating me is not fair! it's not proper and you sure as hell don't treat me with ANY form of respect. So here's the deal, after today, after i put that son-of-a bitch behind bars for good, i will be going to Strauss and i will be filing a harassment charge. If you so much as call me by my first name again i will hang you out to dry." By the end of my rant i was in tears and my whole body was shaking. I turn away so i didn't have to look at his face and how he looked like a whipped puppy. i tell him that i had to go and take care of Clairfield. i left him the address and left. Getting back to the car i told the officer that i was cleared and that Hotch needed them. I pull onto the highway and continue my way up to the house.

It is only when i reach the location that i notice that the phone had been removed from the car. Putting the car in park i give a snort of disbelief. Of course Clairfield would have suspected i would leave word of my whereabouts, then called to give them a place to set up a checkpoint. He was counting on me being removed from the car long enough to have it searched. He had to have a way of contacting Hotch to rub it in how much he had failed at making me happy. I get out of the car and walk up to the large, abandoned house. i walk through the front door and walk to the center of the foyer. Suddenly I'm on the ground with a pain in the back of my head. I turn around and look up at the figure who has to be Clairfield. He kneels down next to me an leans over. With mock concern he says,

"What kind of man lets his Mistress wander off alone unprotected?"


	4. Chapter 4

The sun shines on the water, casting shimmering and glittering spots across Paul's chest as he swings a little girl around in the air. Laughter fills the air. He spins her around a few more times before bringing her down closer to his face. He smiles widely as he rests his forehead against hers. She giggles in delight when a small wave comes in as she wobbles towards me. I run towards her, bend down and swoop her up in my arms. I hug her close to my chest and kiss her cheek. Paul comes in behind us and holds us both. Our reflection in the water is framed perfectly by seashells and sand dollars. The little girl, so happy and alive, the perfect mixture of her parents; with dark brown curls, olive green eyes and fair skin. The picture, so serene and perfect, changes. It grows darker and and darker. Suddenly the little angel and Paul are gone. I'm all alone, and in the distance, I can hear Paul, he's calling me. He singing

". . . .Please hold on.

If I'm losing you now

I won't give till I'm out

You're my world . . . ."

His voice fades back out, I try running towards him but the Water overcomes me and sweeps me back to where I was. I call out for him but no reply comes. I curl up and let the waves take me where they please. Though I do not move, with each wave comes pain. In my leg, my side, my head. And with each lap I lose the will to fight, with each passing wave I grow so much weaker. Then through the fogginess of pain and exhaustion, I hear him again

". . . .I can't get to you

Please don't fade off

Can't stand to lose you. . . .

. . . .I won't do no harm

I won't do you wrong

I want you to come

'Cause you've been gone too long

Try to revive bring you back round. . . ."

Hearing him sing these gives me the reason I had been looking for to fight. i stand back up and struggle against the waves, ever striving to take me back to their depths. Just as I am about to surrender again, there he is. He holds out his hand and smiles at me. Behind him is a soft white light, soothing, welcoming, calling me to enter it. I take his hand and let him take me through the light.

At first there was nothing, no light, no sound. Nothing. Then, slowly, I heard beeping, slow and steady. Then soon after i hear him again, right next to my ear. Singing to me in the softest of whispers,

". . . .Oh I miss you my valentine

Lately so heavy without you

Be still my love

They can never take us. . . ."

I slowly try to open my eyes. For all my efforts they do not open easily. I manage to flutter them a few times, causing Paul to stop singing abruptly. Eventually, I manage to force them open enough to look around the room. Only being able to move my head slightly and not having my full field of view, I manage to find Paul sitting at my bedside. I feel a smile play at my lips but not fully take place. from what i can see, he smiles back with tears in his eyes. He gently takes my right hand in both of his and places a tender kiss on the knuckles. A tear falls on the back of my hand and I hear him sniff. I try to ask him what was wrong, confused as to why he was crying, but no sound comes out aside from a dry gasp. He looks up and puts a finger on my lips, shaking his head.  
"No, Pet, don't try to talk. You need to save your energy. you're still in pretty bad shape." His answer only confused me more, I frown at him trying to get to divulge the information that I needed. My brain goes into a frenzy trying to figure out what the beeping was and where i was at that required me to stay still and quiet. While my brain was doing this, the beeping noise increased, becoming faster. I try to look around but the only thing i see is a doctor and nurse bustling through a door. While the nurse checks me and talks to paul in a corner, the doctor grabs a clipboard from the end of the bed. He flips through the pages before addressing me,  
"Good afternoon Miss Smith. I must say that it is a surprise that you're awake. When you came in to us you were badly beaten. I've only just recently taken over your care. It says here that you sustained a multitude of injuries. Including three hairline fractures to the 6th, 7th and 8th ribs on your left side, a shattered kneecap, with two linear fractures to your lower right leg. You also had a hairline fracture on your left radius and dislocated shoulder on the same side. The previous was hesitant to put you under do to your head trauma." he stops looking through the notes and looks at me. a wry smile comes across his face. Putting the board back he walks over to the side of the bed and checks my vitals. When he shines the light in my eyes I wince and try to move my head away. He then takes out his stethoscope and checks my breathing. having gotten apparently satisfactory readings, he makes not of them and starts to leave the room. Before he is able to leave Paul stops and talks with him  
"Doc, when will she be able to leave?" his voice breaks as he asks it. The doctor tells him that the previous doctors time table still currently stood. That, unless i made any decent headway in recovery while i was awake, that it could still be another month. Paul visibly deflates at this and looks back to be briefly before adding in a lower tone, "But she's already been in her for three! And you yourself said that you were surprised at her being awake." the doctor apologizes again and leaves the room. Not getting the answer he wanted, he dredges back to my bedside and slumps down into the chair. He hangs his head and puts his face in his hands as he sighs. My chest tightens at seeing him like this. I move my hand towards him. My movement shakes him out of his stupor and he takes my hand in his again. This time he strokes the back of mine with his thumb as he looks at me. His eyes full of tears are the last thing I see before I fall asleep again. Thankfully the water does not come to reclaim my body and mind. Instead its a blissful abyss filled with warmth and peace.

The next time i come to its to a very familiar voice, or voices. I smile lightly and am able to stangle out a small, dry chuckle. This causes the room to go quiet, I slowly open my eyes and the first person i see sitting at the end of the bed is Rossi. I smile even wider and start to tear up as I see nearly the whole team in the small hospital room. next to the door stands Emily, Derek and J.J. Then, behind Rossi, Garcia and Spencer stand side by side. I start to cry as I see them, remembering how long Paul had said I've been here, unconscious. Rossi gets up and leans over me. Smiling he wipes my tears away,  
"Come on now, none of that. This is a happy occasion. When Paul called and said that you had woke up we all made the trip down here. Even Hotch and Jack are here." He pointed out the window to the waiting room where not only Hotch and Jack were waiting, so was J.J's husband and Henry. Seeing the two fathers with their kids nearly brought the tears back. but i fight them back ad struggle to sit up. Reid and Rossi help prop me up against pillows while Garcia hands me a cup of water. I take a sip and clear my throat before attempting to talk. While I do manage some words, they come out quiet and week.  
"Wh-where is Paul?" I look around the room, a little disappointed to no see him there. Derik answers my question as Emily goes to get a nurse to grab some food.  
"He's been by your side non stop. We told him to go get some proper food and we'll keep an eye on you." He smiles and he pats me on the head gently. "Reid wouldn't stop worrying. He called here damn near each day to check your progress." Spencer protests adamantly while the others chuckle.  
"What, no I- I was just pointing out that, the longer a patient remains in a coma the poorer their chances are of recovery. By the third day, the chance of making a moderate or good recovery is reduced to only 7%, and by the 14th day is as low as 2%. By the end of the first week almost half of those patients who have not recovered consciousness are in a vegetative state. So, I was just worried that she wouldn't make it out. That's all." He trails off and looks at the floor. I smile at him and mutter a thanks and tell him not to worry bout Derik. I was thoroughly thankful for Spencer remaining his usual nerdy self. The last thing i wanted was for my friends to tone down who they were just cause I was in the hospital. Thankfully they didn't, because each of them gave me a brief lecture about not going off on my own with no back up or protection. I sigh and smile as I let them scold me. As J.J was finishing her rant Hotch knocks on the door frame. everyone got the que and file out of the room. The last one to leave was Rossi who gave my shoulder a slight pat before walking out. Once the room was cleared, Hotch comes in with Jack in his arms. The walk over to me and he gently sits at the edge of the bed. He lets Jack carefully crawl over to me to give me a hug. I hug the boy back and tear up slightly, remembering my dream. As he pulls away he looks at me and with the sweetest voice asks,  
"Are you alright Aunti T?" I break into a wide smile at his nickname for me. I nod and tell him that thanks to the doctors that Aunti T was going to be just fine. He smiles back and asks to get down to go play with the baby. hotch sets him down and walks him to the door. After handing Jack to J.J. and closing the door, Hotch comes back and stands at the end of the bed, keeping his distance. He waits for a few moments before talking. His voice is hesitant and cautious,  
"Natasha, do you remember anything that happened after you left the checkpoint?" his question caught me off guard. I pause and try to remember what had happened. I close my eyes to try and force my brain to go back to then and to retrace my steps. Yet try as I might i couldn't remember past getting to the house. I shake my head and open my eyes with tears and shakily reply,  
"N-no. I-I can't remember. I remember our-" I pause and choke back a sob at helpless I was before i could continue. hoth takes the seat to my right and leans forward. Suddenly, he wasn't just my boss trying to figure out what had happened. Or the concerned F.B.I agent who was trying to help his latest victim. He was Aaron Hotchner, my ex-boyfriend, the caring, loving man that I loved. He leans forward in the seat and speaks calmly.  
"It's okay, Natasha, take your time. don't try to strain yourself." I nod and he waits for me to reply. Taking a few more deep breaths I continue.  
"I remember the argument. then getting into the car and driving to the house. Then, I- I notice that the disposable cell wasn't there. I - I couldn't call you for back-up. but, I was angry and upset. I- I'm so sorry Hotch!" I start crying and he moves to sit on the edge of the bed. He takes me into his arms and I let him. I let him hold me together, for fear that I might shatter when Paul returned. through Gasping breaths and sobs, I tell him that i don't remember anything past walking into the house. I let him hold me until the sobs and shaking stops. Once I'm calm he lets go, gets up and starts to head to the door. He pauses with his hand on the door handle, after a moment he turns around and comes back. without warning he gives me a gentle kiss then leaves with a promise said over his shoulder,  
"I Promise, we will catch him." With that he's gone. I stare after him dumbfounded at his actions. Still shellshocked, I missed Paul's entrance only moments after Hotch's act.  
"Tasha? Pet? What was that?" his voice, filled with pain, slapped me out of my trance. I look to him and see the confusion in his eyes as he approaches me slowly. He stops and the end of the bed and continues, "Tasha, why did your boss just kiss you?" My heart skips a beat and my chest tightens as I struggle to catch a breath. I see the pain in his eyes as they start to gloss over with tears. But before I can tell him not to cry he's in front of me, sitting on the edge of the bed, wiping tears from my cheeks. That's when I realize that it wasn't HIM who was about to cry, it was me. I lose control of myself and start to tell him everything.  
"Hotch and I, used to be an item. It started shortly after i had joined the B.A.U. His wife hailey had been very. . . demanding and controlling. He didn't care that he was cheating on her and neither did I. I had wanted him for a while, after meeting him at one of Rossi's seminars. When we were together things were. . . fun? Nice. but then we found out that Hailey was pregnant with their son Jack. That was four years ago. Paul, please believe me, I don't know why he did what he did. I wish he hadn't. I wish that he could just keep our interactions professional and to a minimum." By the end of everything tears were streaming down my face and I was hiccuping. Paul pulls me into his arms, tells me that it's going to be alright and starts rocking me slightly. He holds me like that for the better part of fifteen minutes, at which point he pulls away and grabs some tissues for my eyes and nose. He gives me a kiss on the forehead and leaves again to grab me some food. He returns a while later with cheddar broccoli soup, bread, tapioca pudding and a sprite. He sets up the bedside table to where I don't have to strain too much. As I start eating he sits behind me and strokes my back lightly, while keeping an eye on the door.

The rest of the week past in pretty much the same manner. Visits from Spencer, Rossi and, much to mine and Paul's disdain, Hotch. The days Spencer visited we played chess and he would purposely let me win, though he would adamantly deny that he did. When Rossi visited was the days that I discussed what ever was bugging me. These days Paul would excuse himself from the room, giving me some privacy. Thankfully, when Hotch came by he kept it professional and he kept his distance. Though the distance was due only to Paul being right next to me each time. Yet despite this, Hotch doesn't hide the longing from his eyes; letting them linger a moment too long, shifting ever so closer each visit. Paul would never let him any closer than five feet from the bed. For this I was thankful because I could barely stand having him present. The three of them would alternate days, but on occasion all of them would come by, at different times but leave at the same. Spencer was the first one today, we were playing a round of chess when both Hotch and Rossi came through the door. I look up from my move and smile at Rossi. He comes over and makes my move for me, putting Spence in checkmate.

"You're getting better there Kiddo." He smiles at me and pulls up the spare chair to sit down. Hotch, as per usual, hovers near the door. I make it a point to ignore him and instead turn to Rossi to start talking to him.

"No. Spence is just letting me win, he leaves himself wide open." I smirk at him and laugh as, yet again, he denies it. As Spence is talking to Rossi while setting up for another game, I feel hotch migrate towards me. I heave a sigh and close my eyes, trying to control my temper. I know that Paul took note of Hotch's movements because he gets up and walks around the bed to sit on that side of the bed. Rossi takes note of this and his eyes flicker towards Hotch and back to me. He nods his head slightly and turns to Hotch.

"Hey, Aaron, Tasha isn't looking too good. Could you and Reid go grab her something to eat from the cafeteria?" Spencer looks up at this and surprisingly does not protest. Instead he agrees and all but herds Hotch out the door. Once they are both out the door and down the hall, Paul gets up to close the door. With it closed, he leans his head against it and sighs. He then walks back to his usual seat and leans back. Rossi waits for a few moments before talking,

"So, what was that about?" He looks from Pauls hunched shoulders to me, waiting for either of us to reply. I know that Paul wasn't going to so I lean against my pillows and start talking.

"Remember when you all came to visit? Hotch sent Jack out and interviewed me, like he was supposed to. But. . . before he left the room he turned around and kissed me. Paul was at the window when it happened. Since then we've both been on edge when he's here. Paul doesn't let me by myself when he's here. Dave, I- I don't want his affection. After I bit his head off before the check point I had thought that I had made that clear." I look over to Paul who had leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He looks at me with curiosity as he talks,

"You fought with him? The day that you- you got hurt?" I nod and he clenches his jaw. I go back over the fight with them both and they both shake their heads by the end of it. We fall quiet for a few minutes before Paul turns to Rossi, "Dave, I know that Hotchner respects you. Could you try to talk to him? About his. . . advancements on her? I'm afraid that if I try I'll just end up punching him. Hes making her un-" Paul stops talking as Rossi holds up his hand, nodding.

"Of course, I noticed how she stiffened when Hotch came in. And I also know what he did. I make a habit of looking in on occasion with Tasha. For all of her efforts to keep him away from her on the job, Hotch hasn't got the picture that she's happy without him." There is a knock on the door before it's opened slightly. Spencer pokes his head through to see if we were still busy. I tell him no and he comes in with a tray of food. As Paul and him get me settled, Rossi takes this chance to pull Hotch aside. They go back out into the hall, reclosing the door behind them. Spencer sets the tray down in front of me with a turkey club, chips, a chocolate chip cookie and a sprite. I grimace at the cookie and pass it off to Spencer. As he's eating the cookie he starts talking,

"So, how much trouble is Hotch in? I noticed that you two seem to be walking on eggshells with him." He looks up to me then back down. I finish my bite and take a sip of soda before responding,

"If he doesn't stop doing what he's been doing, alot." we leave it at that and go back to idle chatter. We were talking about Jack and how he was coping with Hailey's death when Rossi came back. Hotch followed a few moments later, walking in with his head down. Spencer gets up at a que from Rossi and they go out into the waiting room. Paul and I watch Hotch as he stops a few feet from the door. The room is silent for a few moments, then Hotch looks up at me and Paul.

"Natasha, I- I want to apologize for my behavior towards you, not only this last week but since you ended the affair. I realize that it was unfair and disrespectful of me to treat you like i did. And I-" He stops and takes a deep breath, blinking back tears and avoiding my gaze. "Ever since Hailey passed, I couldn't stop thinking about you and how well you are with Jack. And I just, I thought that if we worked things out, Jack could have a female in his life who he adores. I didn't take into consideration the affect my actions would have on either of you. I notice that I put mistrust in your life that had no place there. " He finishes and sniffs while looking out the window with a sigh. He starts to leave before Paul gets up to stop him. He places a hand on Hotch's shoulder and turns him around. Shaking his hand, Paul addresses him,

"Hotchner, you know that Tasha will always be there for you and Jack both. Just because she has no romantic feelings for you does not mean she will abandon either of you." I nod my agreement and add in,

"You know that I adore Jack and that if you ever need me to watch him or to help out that I will. Especially now with Hailey-" I break off and smile lightly. I try to gather up the strength to say what was needed but fell short. thankfully Paul says what i wanted.

"Thank you, Hotchner. I realize how hard it must be on you and Jack both. But thank you for apologizing and respecting us enough to do so." With that Hotch leaves and Paul comes back to the bed to give me a hug. I sigh a little and turn back to my food. Rossi and Spencer come back in and play a few games of chess with me, Paul and each other before they themselves leave. Before they leave I ask Rossi to stay behind for a few. He nods and tells Spencer not to wait. Rossi comes over to the side of the bed and pats my knee.

"What's up Kiddo?" I reach up and pull him into a hug. I hold him tight and close for a few moments before I let him stand back up. I look up at him with tears welling up and smile at him.

"Thank you Dad, for everything you have ever done for me." Rossi looks shocked for a moment before smiling back at me. Taking my hand in his he replies

"Your welcome Sweetheart. I hate to see you so upset. You know that i will always be here for you. Both of you." With that he kisses the top of my head, shakes Pauls hand and leaves. Visitor hours come to a close and Paul kisses me goodbye before leaving. I fall asleep that night with a lightness in my body that had not been present since moving in with Paul.


	5. Chapter 5

"Okay Natasha, you've made some great progress this past month. We should be able to start with the full pressure section of your Gait Training tomorrow. For now let's get you back to your room for some rest and food." The nurse guides me to the wheelchair that I use to get back and forth to the training room. Halfway there I stumble and jar my hip. The nurse catches me and Paul, who had been waiting by the chair rushes over to help straighten me. Gritting my teeth and trying my best to ignore the throbbing in my hip and tightness in my chest, I continue to the chair. Once there, the nurse sets me down, takes off the belt and sets my leg up in the rest. After getting the okay, Paul starts to push me towards my room. We get in the elevator and are greeted by Rossi and Prentiss. I smile through my pain and greet them,

"Hey Em! Hi Dad! I wasn't expecting you today. What's going on?" I look over to Emily as the elevator doors close behind Paul. In her hands shes holding a file, notepad and pen. At first it confused me as to why she would have anything with her. Then I remembered what Hotch had said a few months back, when I had first woke up. _'I_ _promise_ _, we will catch him.'_ All at once my mind was bombarded with realizations; Clairfield had called Hotch, Hotch obviously knew how bad I was and called in paramedics ahead of time and Clairfield was long gone by the time I was recovered from the scene. Vaguely I noticed the elevator doors opening and the four of us moving towards my room. We are almost at the door to my room when a loud crash sounds from down the hallway. I know i must have reacted because my heart starts to beat faster, I start to have a hard time breathing and my vision blurs. The only thing I can focus on is Paul kneeling in front of me, cradling my face, and telling me to calm my breathing. In the background I hear Rossi flagging down a nurse for my panic meds and water. As she is rushing off to grab them, Paul takes me into the room and gets me into a chair. He is still trying to get me to even out my breathing when the nurse comes back with my meds. Rossi takes them and coaxes me to swallow them. After I swallow them and drink more water I finally start to calm down. Prentiss is standing by the end of the bed talking with Rossi when I am able to focus on my surroundings.

"I don't know if this is a good idea, Rossi. I mean, she went into a panic attack just at a small loud noise. and that's before we even told her what we're here for." She looks over to me with concern. Dave looks as well but replies to Emily,

"Em, she knows why you're here. She's had to give her fair share of cognitive interviews before. She recognizes the files." He stops talking to her and instead addresses me. "Sweetheart, are you going to be okay with this?" He waits for me to respond. I take a few moments to consider the possibilities. On the one hand, if I did go through with this then I would be reliving potentially one of the most painful times in my life, but then we would be closer to catching Clairfield. Yet on the other hand, if I didn't and saved myself from the mental agony then Clairfield could be lost to us for a very long time. I give myself a mental slap and steel my nerves. It HAS to be done, I couldn't go on with my life constantly looking over my shoulder, knowing that he would be watching my every move. Having made up my mind, I look to Emily and nod.

"I'm sure. If I don't do this, then we could potentially lose the bastard. I can't have that. I can't put Paul at risk like that." Nodding, she pulls up the other chair and sits across from me with her files, pen and paper at the ready. Before she starts she asks Paul to leave the room. After protesting Dave reassures him that he is going to be right next to me to ensure that I don't get too stressed. I tell him that it is protocol and that I was going to be fine. Before he leaves I ask him to inform the nurses of the situation so that they might be ready for anything. Soon the door was closed and the three of us were alone. I was vaguely aware of Paul standing at the window watching, worried about the interview. Emily opens her file and sets it out on the table next to her. Positioning her pen, she starts the interview.

"Okay. Natasha, I need you to close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax." I do as she asks. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths and relax into the chair. I allow myself a few more minutes, taking mental notes that Dave was right next to me and Paul right outside, before nodding to Emily.

"Alright. Now I want you to go back to that day. Go back to June 15th, just past noon, when you get stopped at the checkpoint. What is it like outside?" Her voice is gentle, coaxing my mind back to that day. In my minds eye I am there, in the car, pulling over.

"It's hot. The sun, its bright." I instinctively swallow.

"Okay good. Now you're being escorted to Hotchner, how many men are with you? Where do they take you?" Again in my minds eye I am back on the side of the highway.

"There's only one, a State Trooper. He's taking me to the side of a building. Hotch is there. He's pacing. He's upset. The Trooper leaves." My breathing starts to pick up slightly.

"It's okay Tasha. Everything is okay. What happens next?" I calm down and go back.

"We start arguing. It's about. . . It's about us. About how he's been treating me. I don't let him talk. I- I just yell at him. I- I get in his face." At this point my breath catches and I feel my eyebrows pinch together in a frown. My breathing picks up, but before i can get too much more upset i feel a hand on mine, squeezing it slightly.  
"Okay. So you fight with Hotch. Then you leave, get in the car and drive to the house. Once you're there, what do you do?" I take a deep breath and skip the drive to where I am parked in front of the house.  
"The phone, the one Clairfield left at the gift shop. It's gone. They took it at the checkpoint. I have the car in park. I don't have any way of calling for backup. I- I know i should wait. But I'm still upset. I'm not thinking clearly. I- I go up to the house. I don't even bother to clear the yard or the entrance." My breathing slows as I slowly let myself be taken by the memory, "I'm at the front door, I open it and go in. It's not very well lit. Just a few flickering lights. There- there's no one here. It's empty. Wait." My heart skips a few beats and i start breathing heavily.

"What is it Natasha? Whats going on?" Emily's voice is there, a faint whisper through the blood roaring in my ears. I squeeze my eyes shut, fear taking over my mind.

"T-there's someone here. I can hear footsteps." My body jerks forward and i clutch the back of my head.

"Natasha, what happened, what's going on?"

"I- I'm on the ground, he- he blitzed me. Now he's leaning over me, he's saying something." With this I'm fully back in that house. I look up and see Clairfield looking back at me with a malicious grin. While mock concern and amusement dance in his eyes.

"What kind of man lets his Mistress wander off alone unprotected?" I yell and sweep his legs from under him. He hits his head on the ground hard. I use the momentum of the leg sweep to get myself into a kneeling position and throw myself on top of Clairfield. I land a few hefty blows to his skull and jaw before he throws me off and I land heavy on my right arm. we both get up and stumble into defensive positions. eyeing me Clairfield spits out a mouthful of blood before lunging at me. Quickly sidestepping, I bring my knee up into his stomach. Before I am able to pull away he seizes my leg with one arm and my waist with the other. He picks me up and slams me onto the ground, winding me. I bring my arms up to block my face as he starts punching me. I wait for a break in his blows before I grab his shirt and bring my head full force up into his nose, breaking it. I knee him in the groin and again in his side before ramming my elbow across his face. I shove him off and scramble up to my feet.

He's still curled up and limp on the floor. I walk over to him to cuff him. before I'm even able to flip him over he tangles my legs with his, bringing me crashing down onto my right arm again. I groan in pain as I try to kick him off of me. My efforts only succeed in tiring me further. My movements slow and get weaker. At this point he gets up and lands several heavy kicks to my midsection. I curl up to try to keep him from landing anymore. Instead he grabs my right arm and yanks it backwards. I give a yelp as I feel something pop out of its place. Releasing my arm with a shove he takes to walking around me, monologuing.

"You know, we could have been so happy together. If you had just accepted my affections. But no. You had to go and LOCK ME UP!" With those three words he slams his foot down on my knee but I'm too tired to notice it. He continues to pace around me, getting madder and madder with each circle. "You threw out all of the flowers, turned in my letters as EVIDENCE. Then to top it off, you parade yourself around with a MARRIED MAN!" I hear his footsteps receding then return a moment later, accompanied with a dragging noise. He throws down a wooden beam and takes a step back to look at me. I don't know what he had planned but I didn't want to find out. Panic sets in and I start to drag myself away from him. He sneers and drags me by my hair back to the center of the room. He throws me down, causing my face to collide with the wood. I black out for a brief moment. Then I hear beeping, like buttons being pressed, or settings being set. The next thing I know he is yanking my face up and points it at the door. But instead of seeing the door I am faced with a camera on a tripod.

"You're going to tell your "Man" how much he fucked up. How much you enjoyed being here with me today. And for each time you dont, I will break your leg." I shake my head and bite my lip. Tears start welling up in my eyes but I wouldn't give in to his demand.

"Over my dead body will you ever get anything out of me." Clearly satisfied with my answer he throws my head down and, grabbing me by my right leg, twists me around. He places my leg on the beam, with the corner biting into the flesh just above my ankle. He comes back to my head and kneeling next to my head he growls,

"Last chance. Tell him." I shake my head again and spit in his face. Punching me in response, he gets up and goes over to my leg, and brings the full weight crashing down onto it. As the bone snaps in two I scream,  
"Argh!" He comes back over and yanks my head up at the camera. He grabs my throat and squeezes slightly. Once again he demands that i do as he asks and tell the camera what he wanted me to. But I just shake my head in defiance, not able to coherently speak. Disgusted, he returns to my leg and repositions it. I whimper as he throws it down and I bite my lip, trying to hold back a sob. He doesn't waste time and smashes his foot onto my leg, just below my knee. This time it not only breaks my leg again but shatters my knee. My voice cries something that throws him off guard. All I can think of is Paul, of the promise that I made him before leaving. Suddenly I'm thrown onto my back and he's on top of me in my face.

"What was that?" his face is inches from mine and i repeat what I said. Only he could hear it, my voice could not go any higher than a strangled whisper.

"I'm so sorry. Paul, Darlin', I'm so so sorry." I start sobbing as Clairfield just gets get up and walks over to the camera. He lets out a frustrated yell and smashes the camera. Then I hear him start talking, though it wasnt to me. Instead it's a cold, malicious tone,

"You might want to hurry Agent. Your precious _Princess_ won't last much longer. You know, she called for you. She screamed your name at the top of her lungs. Begging for you to save her. Funny how you're never able to make her happy. Well, now her blood is on your hands." I hear him drop the phone and smash it under his boot. Then there was metal scraping as he did something with the camera. I hear him leave and close the door. Then I was alone, drifting in and out of consciousness.

"The last thing i remember is Hotch calling for the medics and holding me until they got to me." I finish talking and take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I feel Rossi squeeze my right hand and drape his arm around me, holding me close. Emily is writing when i reopen my eyes. she finishes writing and looks at Rossi.  
"There was a camera, but Garcia said that the tape had been removed. What could he want with that? A sick momento?" I feel him shake his head then get up, releasing me in the process. I look up at him and see that he was nodding while looking at the door. I turn around and see paul walking in. Seeing him brings back the memory and I start crying again. Rushing over to me he cradles my face in his hands and rests his forehead against mine. Rossi hands me a tissue and i wipe my eyes after Paul pulls back.

"Is it over? Is that all you needed?" Pauls voice cracks a little as he asks this. he looks from Emily to Rossi, out of the corner of my eye I see her nod and hear Rossi tell him that that was all. We both sign and slouch. Emily excuses herself saying that she needed to get back to Quantico and gives me a hug goodbye. As she's leaving a nurse comes in with pills and water. She hands them off to me, I take them and tell her thanks. As she's leaving I ask her if she could bring my lunch by, she nods and leaves. I turn back to Dave,

"Dad, Wh-what I said during the fight. It must have been picked up by the camera. It has to be the only reason he would have taken it." He nods and looks to Paul.

"Has your manager received anything with no return addresses on it? Or something given directly to you by a fan?" He shakes his head and says that the only thing that was given to him that was a video was a get well soon video for Morrigan. We're all silent for a few before Paul curses.

"I didn't receive anything because the fan had already turned it in." He looks at me as he continues, "Samuel was approached by a man with a crooked nose and grey eyes. He said that the man had wanted his to give me a tape. Samuel didn't like the look of the guy and took it straight to the P.D." We look at Dave and he clenches his jaw. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze before leaving while dialing someone. I look back to Paul with a worried look. I had failed to do the one thing I swore never to do. I put Paul and the fans in danger. I wasn't given the chance to voice this due to my food being brought in. I try to push the thoughts from my mind as I eat. That night Paul stayed in the hospital with me.

The next few week went by smoothly and with a routine schedule; Breakfast followed by Gait Training, then lunch with Spencer and Dave followed by muscle training. The days ended with Paul and I having takeout and him staying the night. The two weeks after the interview pass quickly as I make headway in improvements. My doctor walks in, reading over my charts, during my lunch with hotch, Jack, Dave and Paul to deliver updates,

"Good afternoon Natasha. I have some excellent news for you today." He looks up and smiles a little. " Well at least your family is here to hear it too. You have been making astonishing headway in your therapy. So, after we go through the proper paperwork, you can go home tonight. I have a prescription filled out for your pain meds, these will only last for the remainder of the month. after then you can use regular Ibuprofen or Aspirin. i also have your panic medication prescription ready to be filled at the pharmacy in Hollywood." I beam and look over to Paul, whose face is lit up with relief at the news. The doctor finishes up the formalities and wishes me luck before leaving. We all continue eating when Hotch gets up.

"Can you watch Jack for a few? I'll go grab the paperwork. I have to be the one to fill it out, as you were on the case when it happened." I smile, nod and thank him as he leaves. I turn back to Jack and am reminded again of my Coma Dream. I'm struck with a pang of longing for that perfect scene. Paul notices and leans over to whisper in my ear,

"You, know Pet. We can always try for a family of our own." I smile and lean my head against his. the rest of the afternoon passes with giggles and paperwork. By four o'clock the formalities of patient release are over and I have my belongings, in a clean pair of clothes and am being given a pair of crutches. I'm informed that these were only temporary and within half a month i will be walking with only a cane. Then after a month i won't even need that any more. Before I left the doctor told me and Hotch that even though I wouldn't need constant assistance with walking; I would have a limp and that there would be some days when I would need a cane. I thank him and, settling myself on the crutches, walk out to his car that had been brought around to the pick-up lane. I turn and give Jack and Dave a hug goodbye before sliding into the passenger seat. Once I'm in i adjust the seat so i won't have to bend my knee that much. As Paul gets in and starts the engine, everyone waves bye. As we pull away, I watch them in the mirror until they disappear from view, then turn my attention to the road ahead. Reclining my seat I hold Paul's hand and doze off into dreams of home and squealing, laughing children.


	6. Chapter 6

"I don't understand why you have to do this in person, Pet." Paul frets as he helps me out of his car at Quantico. I look at him, roll my eyes slightly and smile at him. Ever since we had gotten back from Nashville Hospital I was putting together the necessary paperwork and backup plans for my resignation. I told him the week before that Erin Strauss had 'requested' that I attend a hearing in person to determine the outcome of my resignation. We walk up to the large double doors and he holds one side open, allowing me to walk through with my cane unhindered. Once I was through I direct paul to wait downstairs in the lobby while I go up. I go up to security and put my stuff through. As I am about to walk through the detectors I'm stopped. The officer tells me that I have to put my cane through as well. Not wanting to cause a spectacle, I comply and hobble through the devices. With my stuff and cane returned, I grit my teeth in pain and limp towards the elevators in the building. Reaching the doors, I extend my hand and press the button then wait for the elevator to arrive. As I wait, I close my eyes, rest my weight on my left leg and take deep, meditative breaths. The bell dings for the elevator and I open my eyes. When the door opens I am greeted by a bright orange, floral clad Garcia. She looks up from her tablet at me and squeals. Before I can protest or warn her she is upon me, traping me in a bear hug.

"Oh my goodness! Tasha! You- you're back!" I gasp in pain and she jostles me off balance, making me put more weight then needed on my leg. She hears this and pulls back with a shocked look as she realizes her mistake. "Oh, Tasha, I'm so so sorry! I completely-" I put my hand on her shoulder and manage a smile at her. I reassure her that no harm was done and ask her if she had time to help me up to Hotch's office. She agrees and hurries to catch the doors before they shut again. Once in she asks me how I've been holding up and if I was excited to be back.

"Garcia, Flower. I'm not coming back." Not understanding what I meant she nods and smiles.

"Oh yeah, I know you're not cleared for duty yet. But that's what you're here for right? To talk to Hotch and Strauss about clearing you for duty?" I don't get the chance to let her down gently as the doors open and I see Hotch standing at the door to his office with Strauss right next to him. I mumble an apology and try my best to hurry towards them without hurting my hip further. I walk through the Bullpen past Morgan and Prentiss' desks and to the stairs. I reach them and Hotch helps me up them and to his office. I sit down in the couch and wait for Hotch and Strauss to come in. As Strauss closes the door I jump at the chance to take a dose of my pain meds. I swallow them as they both sit in the chairs across from me. I smile at them and wait for either of them to start talking. Its Strauss who starts the meeting,

"I see you're making some headway in recovering Agent Smith." As usual her voice holds no compassion or sympathy. I nod slightly at the comment and she continues, "When to you expect to be able to return to the team?" She gets straight to the point and purses her lips waiting for my reply. Before o can answer Hotch replies for me.

"Erin, she's not going to be returning to the team or the Bureau. Agent Smith asked for this meeting to put in for her resignation. I have been in contact with her since she got back to California." He says all this while looking at me, I nod my agreement and continue the conversation.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Strauss, but I will not be able to perform my duties the same as before the. . . incident; and I've said before that I do not want a desk job in the Bureau. Now don't get me wrong I would _**love**_ to stay with the team but the fact of the matter is that I physically will not be able to. I have a hard enough time walking or taking small sets of stairs, let alone running out of line of fire, or up two stories." The more i talked the more i could see the tension grow in her shoulders and back. By the end of me talking her back was rigid and her jaw clenched. We were all quiet for a few minutes as she mulled over my answer, perhaps trying to find a way to keep me in her pocket. After about three minutes of waiting for her to reply, I start to get up to leave; gathering my strength I ease to the edge of the sofa. I grab my cane and use it to help myself up. Once I'm standing I take a few moments to catch my breath, as soon as I'm calm I start for the door. Silently, Hotch gets up and walks to the door with me. At the door, he opens it for me and leans closer to talk to me.

"I'll try and make her see sense. After everything the team has been through in the last year she really does not want to lose another agent." We both look over to Strauss who hasn't moved from her seat but is now leaning back with a glass of scotch in her hand. I look out across the bullpen and the team. I start moving towards the stairs, Morgan sees me and meets me at the stairs. Hotch nods to us and goes back into his office as Morgan helps me to the team. I settle myself down into a chair and recline, letting my bad leg stretch out. I close my eyes and take a few steading breaths. As I try to relax Emily asks me what ive been up to.

"So, aside from recovering from Nashville. What have you been doing Tasha?" I look at her and start to bite my lower lip. I pause for longer than necessary before replying.

"Getting stuff in order back home. I've been working on my designs again and trying to get in the grove of sewing. So far its not working out. Though that's mainly due to me worrying about the team." I can't meet anyone's eyes as a continue talking, "I came here today to talk to Strauss and Hotch about my resignation." I blurt it out and continue to look down at my hands, waiting for them to answer. It's Garcia's upset 'Oh' that causes me to look up.

"So, that's what you meant by you're not coming back. I- I thought. . . I mean. . . . you don't want to be on the team any more?" Her usually chipper tone cracks and falters as she asks. I look at her and nod.

"Of course i would love to stay on the team, Garci. But this. . ." I gesture at my leg and grimace in disdain, "I can't perform like i would need to in the feild, and I can't stand being stuck behind a desk. I don't know how you manage it, I'd go stir crazy the first case. I just. . . " I trail off without finishing my thought. David pats me on the shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. The others smile sadly and Spencer starts to tear up. My heart sinks at the sight and i open my mouth to try and console him when he quickly rubs his eyes and clears his throat. i look behind me and see Hotch and Strauss walking towards us. I look to Hotch and he just slightly shakes his head as if to say 'No luck'. Letting my shoulders sag I look back to Strauss. She looks at me and purses her lips.

"Agent Smith, you can put in for your resignation in two months. Until then, for the first month, you will be here at Quantico with Miss Garcia when the team has a case. Then for the remaining time you will be in the feild but are restricted to the station. And under no circumstances are you to put yourself in any danger. Perform adequately in this time frame and we'll talk about compensation. That's final. You can go home for now, your two months starts in a week." Without waiting for my reply or retort, she walks off towards her office. I slump in the chair and sight heavily. Hotch clears his throat and speaks up.

"I tried to convince her to let you resign early. But, we know how stubborn she is. We'll get through this. " He leaves the bullpen and goes back to his office. The rest of us are quiet for some time before david gets up. He walks around to the front of my chair and holds out his hand to help me up. I take it and shakily stand. I limp over to Spencer and give him a hug. I tell him that everything is going to be alright and that I'll still come by and visit. I make rounds of hugs and goodbyes before heading towards the elevators. David walks with me and we talk a bit.

"That was a bit harsh of Erin to do. Especially in front of the team like that. How you holding up Sweetheart? Honest?" I look at him and give a wry smile. He knows all too well how hard it is for me to give up this job and how much I'm holding back for the sake of the team. I don't reply until we both are in the elevator alone and the doors are shut. Then i let out a sigh and turn to him.

"I'm on edge. I know that I can't do what I want to do because of my leg but I just can't let go of the job. I know how much the team depend on each member and I also know how much Spence and Garci are hurt by this. But i refuse to have a desk job in the B.A.U, It's not what I want. I guess i just feel like it's a lose-lose situation. I lose if i stay and get slapped with a desk job and I lose if I don't and constantly worry about everyone." My shoulders slump an i deflate. The doors open to the bottom floor and we walk out to the lobby. We approach where Paul was waiting as David stops us and turns me to face him.

"I know it's difficult Kiddo, especially with Him still on the run. But do us all a favor; the team, myself and Paul. When you do resign, have fun. Do what relaxes you and makes you happy. Focus on building your future, you deserve the world Natasha. Don't waste the entirety of your time here." He hugs me and heads back upstairs after saying goodbye. I watch him until he gets in the elevator then turn to Paul. He smiles at me and takes my free hand. We walk out the front doors and I fill him in as we head towards his car. I stop talking long enough for us to get in then finish. He starts the car and look over to me with adoration, concern and fury in his eyes.

"Well, that settles it then. Miss Erin Strauss isn't getting a Christmas card." we laugh a little at that and he continues, "Well, let's just relax for this week as much as we can alright? Let's go grab a bite to eat before heading back to the hotel." With a peck to my cheek he pulls out of the parking lot and starts heading towards the hotell. All I could think of was David's advice and how much time I had spent working with the B.A.U. By the time we had pulled up to a restaurant I had made up my mind to focus on my future with Paul. We get out and walk into the restaurant hand in hand.


	7. Chapter 7

For the first time since I arrived back home after my accident, i roll over and am greeted by the mid-morning sun. Stretching, I crawl out of bed and carefully walk to the bathroom. I wash up a bit and toss my short hair into a messy bun at the back of my head. with that done, I start my way down to the kitchen; I make sure to take my time down the stairs as to not agitate my knee and cause it to either buckle or give out. Eventually, I make it down the flight of stairs and to the kitchen. As I round the corner, I see Paul sitting at the table with his coffee and tablet. He leans on his right arm to read over an article while his left hand is free to grab his mug or to scroll the page. I grin to myself as the light reflects through his dark chocolate hair, highlighting his russet eyes. I walk over to him and slide my hand across his shoulders as I sit down next to him.  
"Good morning Darlin'." I murmur to him, throat still dry from the night's sleep. Putting his tablet to sleep, he turns to me and gives me a peck on the cheek and returns the greeting. He gets up and heads over to the coffee maker to refill his cup.  
"Would you like some Pet?" I nod my head and wait for him to make my cup. He comes back over to the table with my cup and my meds for the day. Giving me another kiss he heads back to the kitchen.  
"I woke up this morning surprised to see you still asleep. Did your dreams not bother you last night?" I swallow my pills and chase it with another sip of coffee. I shake my head and turn to him,  
"No, and neither did my knee." I pause for a few moments. "I can't remember the last time I slept so good. It has to be since well before the. . . incident." I trail off, knowing how much it still hurts both of us; me physically and him emotionally. I flatlined twice on the table, and to top it off, I didn't keep my promise to him of staying safe. I take another drink and watch him carefully. His body is relaxed and movements are easy. His face reads all of his usual morning emotions; happiness, worry, annoyance (most likely from Mandy) and pure love. I get so enthralled in watching him that i don't watch what he is actually doing until he comes back over to the table with a bowl of food. Setting it down in front of me he takes his seat next to me again.  
"I made some casserole when i woke up, I found a recipe in your box. It looked like it was from David. He has some amazing recipes." I take a big bite of the food and grin as I chew. This is my favorite breakfast recipe from David. Though it tasted different. I look into the bowl and see that Paul had spooned country gravy onto the casserole. I turn to him in shock and he just chuckles.  
"You remembered that I like gravy?" He just nods and chuckles again. At this point I start to get suspicious but decide to let it slide because of the delicious food. It's only when I'm halfway through my bowl that I noticed what was off. Paprika! It was David's secret ingredient. I know this recipe like the back of my hand and the only way for Paul to know to put it in was for him to either watch me, or for me to tell him. Being as neither of them was even within the realm of possibilities that only left one answer. Just as I'm about to ask, a pair of hands cover my eyes; and without him saying a word I know it's David. I giggle and turn around.  
"Miss me Kiddo?" David quips in his usual tone and bends down to give me a hug. He takes a chair across from me. "I got in early this morning. Im doing a seminar with Spencer here in L.A, so I thought I would stop by and surprise you." he talks to Paul and i about his new book and the seminar while I finish eating. No sooner that David says he best head out did the doorbell ring. Paul gets up to answer the door. A few moments later he walks back into the kitchen with the guest.  
"Spence! I wasn't expecting to see you until after the seminar!" He walks over to me and gives me a hug,  
"I heard that Rossi was going to surprise you so I thought i would too." He reaches into his bag and pulls out two bottles. He sets them down on the table and shuffles his feet awkwardly. "I did some reading into Dr. Teals and they actually did do their research quite thoroughly. So, I thought I'd get you a few bottles. I got you one for relaxing sleep and one for muscle soothing. I - I figured that those would be most useful to you." He clears his throat and looks at the floor. I can't help but to giggle at him. As usual, he makes everything seem so much brighter and lighter. I get up and hug him tight.  
"Thanks Spence. What time is the seminar?" We spend the next hour talking about the seminar and the cases they'll be talking about. Unfortunately, the time comes when they both really had to head out to the college for the seminar. Paul and I walk them to the door. I give them both hugs, thank them again for the gifts and for stopping by and say my goodbyes. Once they are in their cars and driving off we head back into the house. We head back into the kitchen and sit back down to our coffee. As we drain our mugs, Paul starts clearing the table and I start loading the dishes.  
"So, what were you doing up before dawn?" I make idle chatter as we work.  
"I. . . was working on something new. And running some ideas past Mandy." he pauses and a sour look crosses his face. "Ideas which she did not like I might add." I scoff at that and give him a teasing nudge.  
"Is there anything she does like?" Before he can reply with the 'Oh yes there is look' I add on, "That ISN'T thought of by her?" we both chuckle at that and finish up the breakfast mess. As I close the dishwasher and start it, Paul walks up behind me and wraps me in his arms. I lean back into his embrace and resting his chin on my shoulder he mumbles into my cheek.  
"Let's go up to the studio, I want to run this idea by you as well. Maybe you can help me convince Mandy that it's a good one." With that he gives me a peck on the cheek and we head up to his studio. When we walk into his studio I take a seat on the couch and he picks up his Jazzmaster and starts strumming a familiar tune. I notice it almost instantly. Then he starts singing the lyrics.

" A thousand times I've seen you standing

gravity like a lunar landing

You make me wanna run till I find you

I shut the world away from here

Drift to you, you're all I hear

As everything we know fades to black."

He finishes the song and lowers his head and I see his shoulders slump forward. He's quiet for a few moments before he looks up to the ceiling. Then, slowly, he starts talking, almost as if to himself.  
"I'm so, tired, of performing as Him. I'm so tired of the whole 'Vampire Lord' facade, of Dante. So I finally told that to Mandy. I told her that the next show, I was going as myself and performing 'Love Remains the Same'. She all but bit my head off." He looks back down and then to me. i know without him asking what it is he's wanting. so I get up and stride over to him. I kneel down infront of him, place my hands over his and look him in the eye.  
"Paul. Love. Do you remember when you first started composing this song?" I continue when he nods, "Do you remember what I said?" again he nods, "Good. Cause that's all that matters, is what your fans love. And that is YOU. And even if half of them don't; the music will resonate with SOMEONE. And they'll tell their friends and the next thing you know, you're selling out at EACH. AND. EVERY. SHOW." with each of those last words I kiss his fingers. I smile up at him and stand up. He stands up with me and pulls me in for another hug. I feel him heave a sigh of relief as if he has made up his mind. When he pulls back I see proud determination in his eyes. Giving me a kiss he trots off to grab his phone. when he comes back in hes talking.  
"Yes, Mandy? I've made up my mind. I'm killing off Dante, this is the direction I'm wanting to go with my music. Now, you can either get behind me and support me like a proper manager. Or you can step down and let someone else do the job."


End file.
